Between social media and media in general, everything we are (do and say) has a surrealistic look today with perfection being “this simple”. The pressure to live up to the expectations and “shoulds” can be overwhelming.
At The Dream Believers we partner with Mom’s because we get it. We understand the “Oh my g*d! Did I really just do that?” or the “Why did I do that?!” And we know it’s OK! Human beings (yes that includes our “babies”) are most resilient. They can endure hardships, faulty upbringing, painful encounters and more and still come out on top of the world! Not “none the worse for the ware” but “better because they understand the flip-side”.
We all want the best for our children but guess what, we’re human beings too. We have ups and downs as well as dreams and frustrations and those impact our parenting skills (there isn’t any class that could possibly cover all the realities of being a successful parent).
This list of the Top 7 Myths of Motherhood covers several of the points that we’ve experienced and while any one of the following myths can be a source of frustration or even depression, the fact is, most of us have struggled with at least two or more.
We’ve presented a little information to help you cope and, at the very least, pull the veil apart to see through them to some degree.
We trust that you will find it both educational and inspirational. We encourage you to join us for a Coffee Break or download our free quote book and audio while we share the experiences of creating a successful and powerful relationship with yourself and your family
Mothering is natural, easy and instinctive
If your mom was Mother Theresa, maybe the mothering was natural, easy, and instinctive. However, if she was like most of us, she had her “ups and downs”. This means that there were things we “weren’t going to do” with our kids. We KNEW we would do them differently, but then reality sets in and we find we’re doing the very things our mothers did. Ultimately, if you love your child and encourage them to be themselves (follow their passion and find their purpose) early on in life, everything will work out fine. And even if you didn’t / don’t, like many of us who initially wanted our children to have and do the things we DIDN’T, it will still be OK!
The way I mother is the right and only way
“The right and only way” is a major trap here as well as a red flag. The energy and example we set for our children when we approach motherhood in this manner can result in a child fearing change as well as position them to even act in a manner that may be perceived as being a bully. Just think of how widespread the effects of individuals and organizations that take the approach that their way is the only “right” way to ______(fill in the blank). Wars are often the result of that approach to life. Accept that the way to “mother” is the right way for you. If you stay open you may even find tips and ideas from other mothers that can help you make the way smoother and more enjoyable.
Motherhood is all-consuming and all-fulfilling
While the “job description” as we’ve provided does seem to support the myth, it is important to note that raising healthy, independent, self-sustaining children means that they will make their own decisions, their own mistakes (that they may never even mention to you) and that they will have their own lives. The best thing we can do for them is to demonstrate a self-fulfilled, passionate and purpose filled life of our own. We can do that and be a good mother at the same time!
A good mother can do it all, all at once
We can do anything we put our efforts toward with the support of family and friends (our community) but it takes time and patience. No human can do everything. Take it one-step at a time and always remember to be present because “this moment” is the only one guaranteed.
Everything depends on me
While there are times that it can feel this way, nothing could be further from the truth. The only way for it to “all depend on me” is for me to be alone. Your child will have their own decisions to make and they will form opinions based on not only what you have taught them, but also what they have learned from their peers as well as their teachers and other individuals they meet throughout their lives.
My child’s bad choice means I’m a bad mom
There comes a point when we have to recognize that our child is an individual in their own right. They, like each of us, has a choice to make every moment and they begin making those from the moment they are born. We can guide them, assist them, teach them, share with them but we can NOT make their decisions. Anyone who has been at home with a toddler and had the house “safely locked” only to have the toddler figure out how to climb up, unlock the door and go into the street because they were determined to meet their parent (dad) coming home from work can attest to the fact that we can only do “what we can do” and from then on, they are human beings in their own right. FYI Kira here – I was that toddler J.
I am just a mom
Just a mom? Here is a job description and list of duties that might be considered prior to accepting the position so when someone says you’re just a mom OR when you’re tempted to think of yourself in this way consider the following information.
Long term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work various hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
On-the-job training is provided, but some experience/skill in the all of the following positions preferred:
- Correctional Officer
- Event Planner
- Fashion Designer
- Messenger Service
- Movie Critique
- Office Manager
- R&D Project Manager
- Skilled in etiquette and protocol
- Small Parts Assembler
- Social Media Expert
- Spiritual Advisor
- Star Gazer
- Virtual Assistant
- And finally – Educator
- Including but not limited to – History, Mathematics, Literature, Grammar, Geography, Politics, World Affairs, Current Events, Creative Arts, Conflict Resolution, and Physical Education
Minimum commitment is 18 years however it is best to consider the lifetime extension. Must be impervious to criticism and have a strong sense of self-confidence. Also, must possess physical stamina and endurance with the ability to carry up to 60 pounds for long periods of time and potentially up to 125 for short bursts. Must be able to move quickly and go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case of actual emergency. The candidate must have excellent coping skills with a high degree of patience and adeptness for maintaining confidentiality.
Finally, the ideal candidate must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst while willing to assume complete responsibility for the client until they begin social interaction with others, at which point the candidate must be willing to provide an atmosphere of support even in the event of apparent complete failure to assume any of the duties for which the client has been trained.
Advancement and Promotion:
Quite simply, no potential for advancement. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
No previous experience required
Wages and Compensation:
Must be satisfied with a hug, a smile or the occasional “I love you Mom” and willing to forgo the normal salary of $100K+ per year normally associated with any combination of the previously mentioned positions.
No health or dental insurance, pension, tuition reimbursement, paid holidays and stock options are offered. However, the candidate will have limitless opportunities for personal growth. Please note that hugs, smiles and laughter have been shown to have a positive effect on the health and well-being of the participant.