Just a mom? JUST A MOM!?
When you’re tempted to think of yourself as JUST A MOM, please take a breath and think again.
Consider the following job description and list of duties that might be considered prior to accepting the position when someone says you’re just a mom OR you think of yourself in those terms.
We’ve all seen variations of the following but this new outlook is sure to inspire and give you hope.
Team player needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work various shifts, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips in inclement weather to the outlying camping sites as well as endless sports events in distant cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. Once the position has been accepted quitting is not an option. (You may leave but you can never quit)
On-the-job training is provided, but some experience/skill in the all of the following positions preferred:
- Correctional Officer
- Event Planner
- Fashion Designer
- Messenger Service
- Movie Critique
- Office Manager
- R&D Project Manager
- Skilled in etiquette and protocol
- Small Parts Assembler
- Social Media Expert
- Spiritual Advisor
- Star Gazer
- Virtual Assistant
- And finally – Educator
- Including but not limited to – History, Mathematics, Literature, Grammar, Geography, Politics, World Affairs, Current Events, Creative Arts, Conflict Resolution, and Physical Education
Minimum commitment is 18 years however it is best to consider the lifetime extension. Must be impervious to criticism and have a strong sense of self-confidence. Also, must possess physical stamina and endurance with the ability to carry up to 60 pounds for long periods of time and potentially up to 125 for short bursts. Must be able to move quickly and go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case of actual emergency. The candidate must have excellent coping skills with a high degree of patience and adeptness for maintaining confidentiality.
Finally, the ideal candidate must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst while willing to assume complete responsibility for the client until they begin social interaction with others, at which point the candidate must be willing to provide an atmosphere of support even in the event of apparent complete failure to assume any of the duties for which the client has been trained.
Advancement and Promotion:
Quite simply, no potential for advancement. Your will be in the position for years and constantly updating your skills with the retraining will be needed so that those you train will be able to far exceed anything you’ve dreamed of to date.
No previous experience required
Wages and Compensation:
Must be satisfied with a hug, a smile or the occasional “I love you Mom” and willing to forgo the normal salary of $100K+ per year normally associated with any combination of the previously mentioned positions.
No health or dental insurance, pension, tuition reimbursement, paid holidays and stock options are offered. However, the candidate will have limitless opportunities for personal growth. Please note that hugs, smiles and laughter have been shown to have a positive effect on the health and well-being of the participant.